Am I over-reacting, or over-thinking this?

You are fine. He probably went cruising when you were sexually unavailable , but he needs to stop now. Tell him exactly how you feel, and if he does it again, download some attractive, well--endowed Black guys,Then ask him how he feels about THAT! If he says now he knows how you feel, you may have a chance. If he's fine with it, maybe you need to think about moving on.